| Tulle. Matron. Vow. Weddings are filled with all kinds | | | | posterity. Won't that be fun to watch on your 25th |
| ofwords that we just don't use in the rest of our lives. | | | | anniversary?! (not!) |
| This ispart of what makes them special. Language has | | | | Wedding officiants have even been known to require |
| a way of tellingus things about a culture without the | | | | that you vowcertain things! (For example, the "till death |
| culture even realizing it. | | | | do us part" thing,which is a crucial element of the |
| Our language is telling us that weddings are special. | | | | wedding vows to me, personally,but which friends of |
| They're aunique experience in our culture and thus in | | | | mine distinctly wanted to remove from theirwedding |
| our language. | | | | ceremony. They had to shop around to find an |
| "Officiant" gets my vote as the strangest word in | | | | officiantwho would "allow" such a thing -- by which I of |
| weddingplanning. My Merriam Webster dictionary | | | | course mean theyhad to shop around to find an |
| defines "officiant" as | | | | officiant whom THEY would allow toconduct their |
| "One who officiates at a religious rite." | | | | wedding, since my friends, as the marrying |
| The world includes so many types of Officiants you | | | | couple,were obviously in charge.) |
| can choose asyou plan your wedding, it can seem | | | | As with every other type of wedding vendor, some |
| overwhelming at first. Pastor, | | | | officiants cancome to believe that they're the wedding |
| Rabbi, Roman Catholic priest, Bishop, Clergy, Justice of | | | | experts whose word isgold, and you are just an |
| the | | | | irrelevant newbie. (In fact, officiantscan behave this |
| Peace, Close friend, or Wedding Judge. Any of these | | | | way even more so than other vendors, because |
| could playthe role of joining you and your beloved in | | | | theydo play such a crucial role in the |
| matrimony. | | | | actually-getting-married partof your wedding.) Keep in |
| The thing to keep in mind is that a lot of these options | | | | mind that while you may be a newbie,you are in no |
| won'tapply to you. Very few brides will be choosing | | | | way irrelevant at YOUR wedding. You can choose |
| between a | | | | adifferent officiant; don't let him make you think you |
| Catholic Priest and a rabbi (sounds like the beginning to | | | | can't. |
| a badjoke), although it can certainly happen, if you're | | | | An officiant acts as a band leader for your wedding |
| conducting across-denominational wedding. | | | | ceremony. |
| Still, based on religious leaning (or lack thereof), you | | | | He's generally not involved in the reception (except |
| canprobably narrow your choice down to only 2-3 | | | | possibly asa guest), but he's the boss and conductor |
| possible officianttypes. Unfortunately, that still leaves | | | | of everything thathappens at the ceremony. However |
| you with about 200possible individual officiants in your | | | | he's a boss you get to CHOOSE,so choose one who |
| local area (at least)! | | | | is going to play his role by running thingsexactly as |
| You should "shop" for an officiant in much the same | | | | you'd have them run. He'll run things because youhired |
| way you shopfor your other wedding vendors (florists, | | | | him to do so, so he'd best run them the way that |
| musicians, caterers,etc.). You want to talk to people | | | | youyourself would run them if you weren't so busy |
| who have used this officiant,to hear their opinions. You | | | | being the relaxedand happy bride. |
| should have a set of questions toask each officiant, to | | | | The qualities you want to look for in your officiant |
| gather information on just what they'llbring to your | | | | arebasically the same ones you'd look for in any party |
| ceremony. And you should judge each | | | | "host." Youwant him to be comfortable with his role, |
| potentialofficiant on more than just the facts of their | | | | with public speaking,and with getting a group of people |
| answers to thesequestions; you should also judge how | | | | to do what he wants, when hewants them to. You |
| you get along with them,whether they seem to "click" | | | | want him to have experience in conductingweddings, |
| with you and what you want from YOURwedding | | | | be a quick thinker and problem-solver in case |
| ceremony. | | | | ofemergency (or even just mildly unexpected turns of |
| Wedding officiants have been known to ban certain | | | | event, whichcan feel like emergencies on your |
| pieces of musicand/or readings from a ceremony. | | | | long-dreamed-of wedding day)and you want him to |
| They've been known to controlwhat pictures your | | | | have that certain charisma that makes peopleglad to |
| photographer and videographer can take duringyour | | | | have come together to listen to him speak and |
| ceremony. Officiants have been known to be rude to | | | | toparticipate (even just by watching) an event that he |
| guestsand/or to the bride and groom, and (if you're | | | | "hosted." Alovable officiant equals a wedding that |
| really lucky) therude things the officiant says to people | | | | people love. |
| can be recorded on yourwedding video for all | | | | |