| is nothing like planning a wedding to bring a family | | | | maid of honor even though you are not close? |
| together...or to tear it apart! What should be a joyous | | | | Actually, yes. Your best friend will likely understand that |
| time in a couple's life can take an ugly turn when they | | | | your parents are forcing you to have your sister as |
| are attacked by their parents, siblings, and friends over | | | | your maid of honor, but the chances are that your |
| the way they are planning their wedding. From money | | | | sister will not be as forgiving if you choose a friend |
| to bridal parties and more, here are some practical tips | | | | over her. Another option is to have two honor |
| on resolving family fights over wedding plans. | | | | attendants. Make them both feel important by giving |
| Money is probably the number one thing that families | | | | them special bridesmaid jewelry as gifts. Choose |
| fight about when it comes to a wedding. It usually | | | | bridesmaid jewelry for each honor attendant that is |
| comes down to one of two scenarios: either the | | | | either the same or clearly of equal value to avoid any |
| bride's parents are paying for most of the event and | | | | accusations of playing favorites. |
| want total control, or the couple is paying...and their | | | | A lot of family issues can be caused by differing |
| parents still want total control! When it comes to | | | | tastes or interpretations of what is |
| scenario number one, remember the old adage that | | | | “proper” for a wedding. It may be that |
| money talks. If you want Mom and Dad to foot the bill | | | | your mom thinks a strapless gown is totally |
| for your wedding, be prepared to give them a lot of | | | | inappropriate for church or that she thinks a cash bar |
| say in the proceedings. That is not to say, however, | | | | is fine and you think it is tacky. A good way to |
| that the bride and groom should have no input into their | | | | negotiate with your family can be to bring in a third |
| own wedding, just that you need to be prepared to | | | | party who supports you. If the minister of your church |
| cede a lot of the choices to your parents if they are | | | | tells your mom that strapless gowns are completely |
| picking up the tab. | | | | commonplace and acceptable, his words will carry a |
| On the other hand, when the bride and groom are | | | | lot more weight than your own. As for the cash bar, |
| paying their own way, creative control will rest largely | | | | pull out a page from your favorite wedding etiquette |
| in their hands. The most frustrating scenario is when | | | | book and let the official guide be the one to point out |
| the couple is on a tight budget, yet constantly receives | | | | why it is a poor idea. |
| “suggestions” from their parents for | | | | Of course, compromise is another key to happy family |
| things that they cannot afford. If you are on a beer | | | | relations. The bride and groom should let their families |
| budget and your mother is insisting that you serve | | | | win a few battles to keep the peace, if at all feasible. |
| French Champagne, all you can do is make it clear to | | | | Pick out two bridesmaid dresses and give your jealous |
| her that you are planning the most elegant wedding | | | | sister the final choice or let your bossy mother-in-law |
| possible with the funds you have. You might also | | | | design the floral arrangements for the altar. As much |
| mention that if she wanted to pay for the Champagne | | | | as you want your wedding to reflect your own taste |
| (limos for the entire family, engraved invitations, etc.) | | | | and style, you also have to live with both of your |
| that you would be happy to include her idea in the | | | | families long after the wedding day has come and |
| wedding. That is usually enough to get the offending | | | | gone. That is why it is worth it to iron out your |
| party to back off! | | | | differences, even if it means giving up some of the |
| The bridal party can also be a cause of family | | | | control over the event. |
| squabbles. Do you have to have your sister as your | | | | |